Tuesday, February 19, 2013

A Gay Mormon Coming Out (Jimmy Hales)



My personal Spring Awakening began January, 2012.



So today has arrived.  G-day.  I have officially come out.  Wow.  A year ago I didn't even think of myself as being gay; denial owned my face.  But I was getting older, 3 of my 5 roommates here at BYU were engaged and the majority of my closest friends were already married.  The only people at parties were freshmen and sophomores, and the things they did at the parties were boring.  Personally I feel like an OK dancer, but "Just Dance" kept giving me the lowest score at the party.  Why did people go to these lame things?  Oh, to get a date.

Then suddenly I had a thought:
'I feel like I should make movies again like I did in high school.  Sounds good to me.'

$2,000 later...
Shooting my first official YouTube video January, 2012.  It was pretty meh, but a great start.


Up till then, I had gone to a party to either hang with my besties or take part in the oober fun game.  Pick up on girls?  Pssssshhhhhh.  Now all of my besties were married and all the games sucked.

But here I was, older than everyone, and lonely.  Parties lacked the fun factor and I had no release for my social behavior.  Was I just getting old?  I've always been the loud funny guy, the class clown, and even the annoying guy that won't shut up.  Maybe I've finally embraced the nature that comes with my field of study, Computer Science.  Ummmm, no.  I refuse to become like the majority of the people in my major.  I'll keep a good hand on my charisma thank you very much.  So what was it?

I only dated when I needed an excuse to eat at a restaurant that I really wanted to eat at.  The girls I took out were my friends and I loved them, but the thought of doing anything more than hug them fell short of the thought of cuddling with my cute dog Rykar.  But that guy over there sure is neat...

My cute dog Rykar.
Could it be that I'm...?  No.  Impossible.  You NEVER hear about good Mormon guys that are like that.  Surely, if it were a possibility then I would have at least heard mention of it being a possibility at least once in the history of my life in church.  I'm just not going to think more about this, or rather, I guess I'm not supposed to think more about this, so I won't.

I was wrong.

Ignorance is the biggest problem.

Another church meeting.  Another rebuke for being that single young man that isn't doing his duty.  Oh that poor single sister that always dreamed of one day getting married.  It's because of me she's single.  I'm bad.  I need to repent.  All the doors were closing and the lights were going out, and now it's all my fault?  Put these feelings of shame on top of my feelings of loneliness and expect me to be excited about life?  Suddenly life wasn't as fun as it used to be.  I was in a very bad place.  That grave over there has never looked so appealing, until now.

My testimony kept me alive.

Sometime during Winter semester 2012.
Tithing settlement.
"So, are you dating anyone."
"Nope." I shamelessly replied.
"Well that's not good." my bishop said.
"I don't want to date anyone."  Then my bishop looked at me,
"Do you experience feelings of same-gender attraction?"  What?!  All I said is I don't want to date anyone, how does he...?  'This is real.  Oh gosh, this is very real.'  I paused a good while.  I looked at my bishop and in a weak voice replied,
"Yeah."  I had never wanted to die more than that moment.  Finally realizing the fact.  Affirming the fact.  Loathing the fact.  Breaking through the denial was almost more than I could take.  A few words were exchanged and then my bishop looked at me and with genuine empathy said,
"That sucks."

It was exactly what I needed to hear.  I needed empathy.  I need empathy.  He didn't make the mistake and tell me to have hope or that one day I still might get married.  Either one of those approaches would have thrust me out the door.  My bishop is a man of God.  The topic was relatively new to him and I feel he did well with it.  He is a man of God, with the gift of discernment that I haven't seen before.  He truly understood that I must be passing through hell and still have a long way to go.  As long as he knew that, then that was enough for me.  Not only did this bishop give me empathy, it's because of him I was able to take that first step.  I was finally headed away from the lie that enveloped my life, and was now headed towards who I really was.  I had a long way to go.

I trudged through the doldrums life had become.  'Ok, what now?   Hum dee dum dee dum.  Whoa, what's this?  I didn't see this one coming.  A BYU It Gets Better better video?  There are other gay people at BYU?  That's a relief. I guess I'm not the aberration I thought I was.  I guess I'll just keep on living in the closet with the comfort that there are others like me.  I've made it this far right?  I can do it forever.'

Summer, summer, suuuuuummmmmmmmer.  I kept myself busy.  I had a few jobs and worked hard.  I played hard. Summer was awesome.  I made videos, had some way fun jobs, ran a half marathon, and took my annual road trip to California with my best friends to visit my sister who, at the time, was one of the two ambassadors for Disneyland.  Life was good.
My brother did run the race with his prom date.  No, his prom date was not my sister whom you see here.

A video we made.  We covered a song by my favorite band, "Radwimps."

Boating with friends.  All of my friends are Asian, but you already figured that one out by now.
Knott's Berry Farm with the fam.

For one of my jobs I was a youth counselor for a large group of Chinese High School students.
Running a 10K in Orange County with my sister and friends.
Road trip with best friends.
...but what goes up must come down.

Fall semester 2012
"The chronic abyss of my life's happiness." - Jimmy Hales


Thrown back into school.  New roommates.  New ward.  FHE (Family Home Evening).  FHE is just a free dating service; not interested.  My classes were great.  Cyber security, Computer Ethics, P of GP, Intro to Dance, Computer UX.  I had more time on my hands than I thought I would though.  Randomly, I wanted to buy a green screen and some lights, so I did.

It's my turn.
I live in a studio that has a bed.  I'm thinking about getting a futon.
I'd go to school, put on my front, then come back to my apartment.  Anyone on campus would have thought my life was perfect, that I pretty much had everything going for me.  Almost.  When I stepped off campus I seized to exist.  Social life, I had none.  'This is harder than I was expecting, and it's only been a month or two.  Can I keep it up?'

October 2012.  General Conference hooray!  I love GC.  I listened/watched the sessions and got a lot out of them.  This is when Elder Anderson became one of my heroes.  He spoke of the poor single sisters that wished they could marry, but couldn't because yadda yadda yadda.  I rolled my eyes, but I understand I really shouldn't.  I have a sister who is single, though once married, and in her 30's, so I really do sympathize for these women.  But THEN Elder Anderson mentioned a young man who won't marry, that he experiences same-gender attraction.  'Could this be?  A shout out to people like me in General Conference?!'  Sure, it wasn't much, but it's a start right?

"Better late than never I guess." - My Dad

Priesthood session arrived.  It's a great meeting, but I've always kind of dreaded it.  Why?  Well, men and women have different roles in the church and in life.  At the priesthood session you might expect to hear talks on marriage, pornography, or the need to get married or something.  These are all very very important, but I don't need to hear them, with an exception to pornography that is.

Pornography is damaging to anyone, I have a testimony of this.  However, whenever I get the pornography talk, they so often stress how it will destroy your relationship with your spouse, and in the end tear your family apart.  If you're not married, then it will damage the relationship of you and your future spouse.  I believe all of this is true and that members of the church need to hear such counsel.  You can see where I'm getting at.  I've grown up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Straight Saints.  So is it OK if I look at pornography?  It isn't, but the harmful effects don't seem as significant with me right?  Wrong.  Instead I have to go digging to find these answers.  'Is this really what is expected of the church's gay members, to go digging, by themselves, for the same teachings that are being shoved into everyone else's faces?  I'm feeling a little left out.'

This is just ONE example of something that might confuse a gay member of the church and perhaps send them running.  Not me.  My testimony is hear to stay.  However, to those gays who have left the church... I can't blame them.

It's hard to be a saint when you don't know how to be one.

Before I headed to a nearby chapel on foot to attend priesthood session, I said a prayer.  I was feeling very low.  I was incredibly lonely and nobody had the slightest idea that I was.  In my prayer, I prayed that God would send someone to me.  I didn't care who or for what reason, I simply needed human interaction.  I got off my knees and opened my front door and standing there was some dude I don't recall ever seeing before.  He was fiddling with his phone and looked somewhat confused.  He was from Chile.  He asked if I was going to priesthood session and if he could join me.  All prayers are answered, but this one was granted.

After the meeting I returned to my apartment.  I wanted to die.  I cried.  I never cry.  I had a special experience in my room that night, and in the end knew I was where I was supposed to be.

My birthday.  Still October.  Sunday.  Literally not a soul on BYU campus knew it was my birthday.  Oh big deal, I know, but considering my circumstances this was not helping my already horrible mood.  I took the sacrament and then left immediately after.  I never do this, but going to church all alone on my birthday didn't sound fun.  I got in my car and drove aimlessly until I found myself at the top of some mountain.  I felt like Nephi.
Taken at location  40°28'44.16"N 111°35'2.45"W


What is expected of a gay member of the church?  Again, I had to go digging.  This was starting to piss me off.  Does the church want gay members to run away and never look back?  I might have thought so. I decided to send a message via Facebook to one of the guys that was in the BYU It Gets Better video.  The messages were brief, but communicating with another gay person like me was a bit surreal.  Wow, I'm so lame.  His words were, "Certainly, the policy is celibacy..."  I didn't believe him.  Surely there were other restrictions that applied right?

I came out to two professors that semester, both of which are totally cool with it all.  In one of those professor's classes, I had an assignment to ask a genuine question I had, and then do research to answer it.  My question was:

"What does the Lord expect of those who deal with same-gender attraction to avoid?  Aside from knowing that sexual relations are prohibited outside of marriage between a man and a woman, what other restrictions apply?  Are there any official statements about boundaries or is it left to bishops to decide?"

I have a great love for the professor who gave me this assignment.  She was incredibly loving and helpful.  I cannot repay her for the help she gave me, but I know she will one day be compensated.

Elder Holland, in the Oct. 2007 Ensign said, "Unfortunately, some people believe they have all the answers now and declare their opinions far and wide.  Fortunately, such people do not speak for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints."  I think this is very important.  This gives room for bishops and Stake Presidents to give personal counsel to individuals who need it.  There is no "one size fits all" answer here.  Also, Bishops are still learning too.

I've told four bishops now.  Two seemed to avoid the topic.  Others have showed concern, but one in particular (that I spoke of earlier) was incredibly helpful.  Bishops are but men; they aren't perfect.  If we are patient with each other, the Spirit of God will help bishops give counsel and help members receive their counsel    You may need to be more patient than you're comfortable with.  Don't let the result of another person falling short affect your personal relationship with God, but don't be so quick to scoff at counsel you don't agree with.  They may be right.  Be patient.  Pray.

Elder Holland continues, "You see, same-gender attraction is not a sin, but acting on those feelings is -- just as it would be with heterosexual feelings."

In the church's official pamphlet, God Loveth His Children, it says for gays to "Set wise boundaries..."

I guess the guy I messaged on Facebook was right.

I go to BYU and live the honor code because I said I would.  I entirely loathe the BYU honor code.  Latter-day Pharisees Unite anyone?  I'm most bitter about how they are so quick to give gays restrictions to the point where we can't do ANYTHING, yet do absolutely NOTHING to offer us any kind of help or comfort.  That makes us feel really good.  You wonder why I can't wait to get out of this place?  I would have left a long time ago, but God insists I stay.  I guess I'll just endure the LDPU a little bit longer.

On an academic side of things, I feel like I'm getting an absolutely stellar education.  My professors are incredible.


Oh, and if any of you were wondering, I served my mission in Melbourne Australia, Nov. 2006 - 08', Mandarin Chinese speaking.  It was an absolutely incredible experience that I literally would not trade for anything.  
At a district meeting in Boxhill.



I finally decided I would tell someone, or come out to someone.  At this point only former bishops and some guy I had never met knew I was gay.  I turned to Sherylee.  I met her when I was 12 and is one of the most best of friends I've ever had.  I took her to prom both sophomore year and senior year of high school.

Sophomore Year
Senior Year






















Like, she seriously had no idea that I was gay.  Is it not obvious by looking at those pictures? And let's be honest, I'm a single guy in my 20's who blogs... oh, she is so great.  After I told Sherylee, I told my good friend from college Brenna.  I'm the second guy Brenna's ever kissed.  What?  I actually have it on video BAHAHA!!!

I previously played the straight guy so well, I was terrified to start coming out.  Two girls who knew me VERY well were utterly floored at the news.  Blah.

It was at this point in time I thought to capture the rest of my "coming outs" on video.  I didn't get my dad, sister, or buddy Steve on video, but everyone else most definitely was caught on video.  I had the idea initially in October.  Here is an exerpt to an email to Sherylee dated Oct. 1, 2012:

Either she hated the idea or just forgot to address it in her response to that email haha!  Meh.  Later on I mentioned the idea to my sister Jolie, who then reinforced the idea.  She has her masters in directing from Chapman University, so I took her urge to make the video a bit more serious.  It could potentially be really good.

I told my sister Jolie I was gay just minutes before this was taken.  I told her in the car just after leaving my mom's wedding :)
Me, Sister Jolie, Dad, Brother Dallin, Sister Christy, Bro-in law Ben

The first person I captured on video was my sister Christy, second was my friend Chloe.  I captured all of the coming out reactions over the time frame from December 2012 - February 2013.

Chloe is God sent.  She was the only one at BYU who knew I was gay for a long while (Sherylee was elsewhere).  She was the only one I could be myself around.  We would sit and talk to each other about our boy troubles (or lack thereof).  Talking casually about gay stuff was new to both of us.  In the beginning, every time I mentioned that I thought a certain guy was cute we would snicker like little morons.  She was the best person to have gone through that stage of life with.  I met her in 2009 when we spent a semester abroad studying at Nanjing University in China.
Fall 2009 With Chloe on a Chinese game show in Nanjing.


It was spending time with Chloe that allowed me time to get over myself.  I could finally embrace the fact that I was gay.  Openly talking to Chloe about guys I liked became normal.  I was finally back in a good place.

Every time I came out to someone it was emotionally exhausting.  I had to psych myself out before hand, find a time with them alone, pull my camera out, and hope things didn't go awry.  It drove me crazy.  After coming out to someone it was always the same episode.  Drama.  I had to act that scene out over and over again.  As I type this, there are certain people that are very close to me that I still haven't come out to, simply because I've run out of steam.  They're going to see my video and be like, "Holy ....!"  With other people, I would come out to them in a very causal matter.  Most the time they didn't believe me.  Those conversations usually ended up more serious and emotionally draining, so I stopped with them too.  My video goes up in two days.  I can't wait.

Shooting my video was very stressful.  School was taking up all my time and I felt strongly that I needed to get this video done soon.  I quit both my jobs and dropped enough credits to become a part time student.  I'm still incredibly busy, but the video was finally moving from pre-production into the production phase.

After moving my bed into the hallway, setting up my green screen & lights, and teaching a friend how to use the boom mic, I was finally shooting this thing.


When it came time to edit the footage, I ended up cutting well over half of the script.  In fact, I cut the parts that I initially thought were most important.  Similarly, while searching online for some royalty free music, I felt I should just write the music and record it myself, so I did.  That's why the music is lame.

My YouTube channel has been up for one year.  My goal of having it:  I don't really know.  I mentioned this earlier, but a year ago I felt I should get back into the video business.  My videos up to this point, were random, thrown together pieces of stuff that weren't that great.  I didn't care, for I had fun making them.  In making my various lame pieces of stuff, I built a decent skill set over the year.  I'm a one man show, and only recently felt confident that I could pull off a more serious type of video.

"G-day", that's what my roommates are calling it.  In two days I post my gay video, thus it's referred to as G-day.  Today at church I said to my roommate Ian, "Wow, today is my last day going to church as a 'straight' man."  We lightly chuckled to ourselves.

At this point, me being gay it not such a big deal to me or those close around me.  I believe, with time, it won't as big a deal to all members of the church either.  They just need opportunity to think about it, so here I am posting about it.  Every Mormon I've come out to has been awesome.  Soon enough, gay people will be able to come out and not be as afraid to do so.    However, there will always be a certain stigma attached to it to some degree, for living a lonely celibate mortal life is a taste of hell, and the possibility that a person might "fall away" is always possible.  If you know someone who has fallen away, please try to understand that they've been through hell, and that they've probably gone through hell all by themselves with little or no help.  Please love them.

The Lord will be just.

I love missionary work.  But there are some things I'm afraid to tackle.  I can't imagine being a missionary teaching openly gay people the gospel.  "When you get baptized we expect you to remain celibate until you DIE...".  Um, not so appealing.  I personally believe this is the truth, but what a hard thing to preach.  I'm not sure how to approach this one.  A little help maybe?

A video was released on YouTube which featured several openly gay BYU students. This is what gave me the final nudge to help me come out to myself, and then things went from there.

The Church is true.

I don't really have anything else to say.  I'll take a picture.





















358 comments:

  1. Jimmy! You are awesome! I read your blog the other night, and I also came across this quote from another friends blog, and I thought of you.

    "There are many women among us who are single. Generally, this is not of their own choice. Some have never had the opportunity to marry one with whom they would wish to spend eternity.
    To you single women who wish to be married, I repeat what I recently said in a meeting for singles in this Tabernacle: “Do not give up hope. And do not give up trying. But do give up being obsessed with it. The chances are that if you forget about it and become anxiously engaged in other activities, the prospects will brighten immeasurably. …
    “I believe that for most of us the best medicine for loneliness is work, service in behalf of others. I do not minimize your problems,** but I do not hesitate to say that there are many others whose problems are more serious than are yours. Reach out to serve them, to help them, to encourage them." (Gordon B. Hinkley,Oct 1996, General Conference-Women of the Church)

    I had a moment when you made the point that you must remain celibate and I considered that for a moment, and tried to understand how hard that would be.

    I have always admired you!I also think your crazy good looking and had hoped at one point to at least go on a date with you. Well, anyhow I think your even more amazing and I'm happy to know you. (though, you might not remember me all that much)

    You are definitely not alone. I have some very dear best friends who are also gay; strong men of the church that I look up to. Its exciting to see people become more understanding and supportive. If I ever have the time, I'll be sure to check out the BYU USGA.

    Thanks for being awesome!!!

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  2. I read every word and admire you so, so incredibly much. I'm so grateful you are my little/taller brother and both Ben and I love you! I'm proud you have had the courage to come out, because thinking of you going through such lonely times makes me sad. I've already learned a lot about this topic that I never thought twice about beforehand. Thanks for your example and all you do.

    Now effing come visit, yo. Good grades are for the birds...

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    1. christy, i'm here to comment to your brother, but when i read the line "about this topic that i never thought twice about" my head snapped back. that is truly frightening. are you aware the the LDS church has the highest suicide rate for young and not so young men in the US? much of the cause of that is the limited prospects the church had proffered to those young men who found that unaccountably they realized they were attracted to men rather than women. make a sham marriage and make the best of it, keeping those feelings locked inside until a rope, pills or the barrel of a gun seemed preferable to another day, the tortures inflicted by evergreen, the lds "conversion" program which still exists on the downlow despite the fact that no reputable therapy module, psychological or psychiatric or even pediatric recognizes such "therapy" as effective, and most have stated clearly that it can be exceedingly damaging and traumatic, or, live a celibate life, avoiding the semblance of a satisfying emotional connect as well as a sexual component, or lastly go out into the world, leave the church and all the positive values therein and risk being shunned or pitied by your family and the ones you love most.

      that's the true state of affairs, and that you and others have NOT been made aware of this is criminal.

      how lucky that your brother had the courage, luckier still that the church is slowly edging closer to realizing that gay lesbian and other folks are just as much family and just as much children of god as the ever were. i suggest you and your family support your brother in any way his understanding of god's path leads him. celibacy is a most desolate way to go through life, especially when the church is so near, relatively speaking, to having a new "revelation" as it has had before in my lifetime.

      i only came by to tell your brother i am enjoying his writing, but that he really could stand a proof reader, as does anyone who types AS he is thinking it. wrong words and misspellings dot the otherwise fertile landscape of his blog.

      for further reference you might want to look into the episodes, available on line, of mormon stories with benji schwimmer, who after a long struggle, seems to have emerged relatively intact, but not without some emotional bruises.

      best wishes,

      jack

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    2. I appreciate your concerns about how some people are largely unaware of the struggles of gays in the church. I also greatly admire Jimmy and cried and laughed as I read his blog and watched his video. I felt that I have to point out though that your assertion that LDS rates of suicide in young and older men is the highest in the country is incorrect. While Utah is higher than the national average, it is lower than in all the surrounding states (sometimes referred to as the suicide belt) with fewer members. In that sense, the church might be seen as having a protective influence. Either way, your assertion that members have higher rates than others is not true. Those less active in the church have higher rates than active members, and those not a member have higher rates still. Here is an easy place to find references to some reputable studies: http://askville.amazon.com/suicide-rate-Mormons/AnswerViewer.do?requestId=33164476

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  3. WOw, love your video, love your story. Love your faith.

    I'm gay aswell, and a mormon. While i'm not 100% public, i have told people, and it really does get better. Thanks for your video. Helps me, helps others too. I really appreciated your approach. Not all serious, while i love the USGA video and the Voices of hope videos, they are super serious, some lightheartedness is great.

    Keep up the good work man. I hope you don't still feel alone. You have worth,and you can have friends.

    oh yeah, go cougars ;)

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  4. I like how you used the word face. Very well. And I think your openness is/will be a very effective influence for good. Thank you.

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  5. I admire you on so many levels! Thanks for sharing your journey with us!

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  6. Jimmie, great post. Interesting, funny, and serious at the same time - well done. I sent you a message on facebook, but I'm not your friend so it might go to the black hole of the "Other" box.

    Best wishes, hope to hear from yous soon!

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    1. Uh . . . this is Jefferson, by the way. Apparently it only says my blog's name . . .

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  7. Loved the video... Live in Atlanta Georgia here.. Was amazed at how many BYU students went out to the Gay Bar Blakes after the last Georgia Tech and BYU game. Things must be changing... One question I would like to ask you: If "Marriage Equality" becomes the civil law of the land (as it its in 7 states now) and you meet someone you want to civil marry, would you accept excommunication for the horrific act of legal civil marriage to someone you may want to spend the rest of your life with?

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    1. Thanks for your message :) Marriage Equality is going to happen, it's just a matter of time. I will not be taking part in marriage. I believe that Mormon's have the truth, I need to endure this life. Sounds horrible because it is horrible, but it's only a short period of time with an eternal perspective. That's all I'll share right here. I'll definitely be talking more about this soon.

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    2. Thanks Jimmy for your perspective... Just from what I can read and watch of your awesome videos... Absolutely heartbreaking to think you don't want to marry a special someone... :-(

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  8. I appreciate your blog post. Thank you. Normally, I wouldn't post as Anonymous, but I'm only out to a select group of people. I wanted to invite you to check out North Star International.

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  9. Jimmy, you are amazing. I was in your Dance class last semester and I can totally see it, but I really appreciate what you are doing for all the other gay Mormons out there. You are being a true example, and you are living up to your full potential. I have a friend with a story similar to yours, who is currently attending BYU, and I am floored by you guys! You have such strength, because that has got to be one of the biggest trials given to you in this life. Thank you for helping me better understand and realize that I need to be more accepting. I feel like your video is going to be a big help to a lot of people. Way to be!

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  10. You area amazing. Honestly, I've always been afraid of/uncomfortable around homosexuals because I didn't understand them at all. I've been judging them. I know this is not Christlike and they (you) need charity just like the rest of us. I've talked to many friends about it and read church literature on it, etc. and I think I feel better. Some of the prominent work superiors I work with are gay and they are kind, compassionate, bright, well-respected people. It is hard enough keeping the law of chastity as a young single straight adult; I completely empathize with you (as much as a straight person can) about how hard it will be to remain celibate. But your testimony is so inspiring! I love that you love General Conference and missionary work, respect your church leaders, and are staying at BYU tho you want to move elsewhere. You will be blessed a million fold for your enduring faith and obedience. You have a light to share. You have a work to do on earth in this life, just like the rest of us. Please don't give up and leave the church. We need bright examples like you. Wickedness never was happiness. So many people love you, look up to you, and are rooting for you. Even strangers like me who saw your blog on a friend's Facebook post. Be strong. Be happy. Romans 8:28.

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    1. Convicted adult child molesters, spousals abusers, alcohol and drug abusers have a legal fundamental right to civil marriage. The fact that married homosexual couples and their chidden, will harm society and others to a greater degree has always confused me. (scratching my head here).

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  11. James! Congratualations! You are so incredibly brave and I am so glad that you were able to share this with so many people and that you have such amazing people around you that support you no matter what! I wish only good things for you and the future!!

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  12. Hi Jimmy, I'm Buddy's cousin. I watched your video today and now am here! I just wanted to tell you how I admire you. You have much courage and faith to be open with your life and to remain true to what you believe. I think about gay people all the time; especially how lonely a life it would be to be a faithful Mormon and be gay! I applaud you, and tell you that there are many others who, like me, think of you and like-situations praying for your ability to conquer this life. On to the victory, brother!
    -Ali Whicker Kusilek

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  13. Things can change... How might Mark E. Petersen's 1954 talk be different if it were given today?

    ""What is our advice with respect to intermarriage with Chinese, Japanese, Hawaiians and so on? I will tell you what advice I give personally. If a boy or girl comes to me claiming to be in love with a Chinese or Japanese or a Hawaiian or a person of any other dark race, I do my best to talk them out of it. I tell them that I think the Hawaiians should marry Hawaiians, the Japanese ought to marry the Japanese, and the Chinese ought to marry Chinese, and the Caucasians should marry Caucasians, just exactly as I tell them that Latter-day Saints ought to marry Latter-day Saints. And I'm glad to quote the 7th chapter of Deuteronomy to them on that. I teach angainst inter-marriage of all kinds."

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  14. Hold on to your values Jimmy! You are an inspiration, think how awful you and the Lord would feel if you gave into Satan and allowed yourself to fall in love with another guy.

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  15. What an awesome post! You are wonderful!

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  16. Jimmy. Thanks for the video and post. I am a fellow BYU student who has only recently admitted to myself that I am gay. It has been a journey and it will continue. I'm sure of that. Your comment about Bishops have the gift of discernment is totally true. If it wasn't for my bishop I wouldn't have been able to come out of my dark place and get through this. Like you, my testimony has kept me alive and now happy and filled with hope for the future. It really is a short stick we have drawn, but I have come to know that it can and will get better. I haven't come out to anybody yet, but it will be soon. Your video of their reactions gives me hope that my friends and family will be just as supportive and won't go crazy when I tell them.

    Again, thanks for keeping the faith, especially when going through hell. I've just recently been there and it is not easy.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hi Jimmy. Hey I watched your vid and loved it. There are going to be some changes in your life because of this project of yours. Hopefully for the good, but hey, let's be honest, life is full of ups and downs. With that in mind, I want you to know that I support you in all your righteous desires. I've been where you are (well, my version of it anyway) and might be able to help you bounce around ideas as you navigate the waters ahead. Look me up on Facebook if you want. I'd welcome your presence: Laron Wilson <--- do it!

    (Please don't stalk me or spam me evil people out there)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Jimmy,
    You are absolutely adorable -- in personality and every other way. I loved reading your experience and seeing how happy you are. No wonder you have so many friends around you. I admire your courage and faith. You will be a great help to many people, straight and gay.
    All the best to you from a TX mom in her 50's!

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  19. Please don't think you have to be celibate. If the Church is asking you to do so, they are expecting you to be less than a whole person, and that is wrong. I respect you and your beliefs, but you also need to live your life. I believe that you, as a person, are entitled to more than the Church as an institution. Be happy and don't try to please others, because you never will. God bless!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Jimmy, I'm not Mormon, so this may not carry much weight with you but have you considered the possibility that the Christian Church, yes even the Mormon church can get things wrong? Slavery is one example. Burning so-called witches is another.

      I was ashamed of same sex attractions for several decades until I came to the realization that I was accepting blame for desires that I did not ask to have and had tried to reject. Why would I have them unless that was what God intended for me? The God I love and worship could never be so sadistic and cruel as to give me a same sex desire and then forbid me to act on them.

      God loves all of us, gay and straight. He asks only that we LOVE Him and LOVE others. Really loving others and not being selfish is the difficult part when I think about it.

      So, my message today is that God wants you to be happy. Your sexual orientation is as natural and God-given as the color of your eyes. Once you can accept that, you can reject the church's teaching about homosexuality as being wrong.

      Delete
    2. I see your point, but respectfully disagree because the Church's teaching about abstinance outside of marriage is not just limited to homosexuality, but equally applies to heterosexuals. Just because an attraction is natural and God-given, does not mean it should therefore be acted upon outside the boundaries God has also established.

      Delete
    3. But whose God???? what about the religions is God loves and celebrates gay relationships, equally valid. Don't be so arrogant!

      Delete
  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  21. The fact that churches even suggest that gay people remain single for an entire lifetime is unconscionable. The idea of living one's entire life without intimacy or companionship because of what others believe is not even a subject for rational discussion in a civilized society.

    The fear of a negative reaction from my Catholic family caused me to be alone into my 30's. While I feel that I was robbed of some part of my youth, the glass-half-full result was that I ended up with the greatest guy in the world. I have few memories of the time I spent alone through my 20's, but now can not imagine a time ahead without the man I love.

    There seems to be an intellectual disconnect among those who disapprove of gayness, who think that opposite-sex couples enjoy a divine loving coexistence, while same-sex couples just have sex. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'd stay with my husband, without any doubt or hesitation, 'til death-do-us-part, even if we never had sex again. Because we're in love.

    You deserve the same, and I trust you'll realize it when you find the right person. If the other people in your life truly demand that you remain alone forever as a condition of friendship, you will have to leave them behind. The loss will clearly be theirs.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Dude, i don't know you at all, but I just watched your gay mormon video posted on towleroad.com you're awesome. its a little less traumatic to come out as a gay italian, but i think it feels the same. hit me up if you are ever in sf and wanna grab a coffee. yespete@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  23. JIMMY...

    i came here to comment that i have been enjoying your writing, before even viewing your videos. i wanted to experience what you wrote first. oh and to suggest that you have someone do some proof reading for you. you have a pretty fair number of easily spotted mistakes, although i know from experience it is hard to proof your own material, because your brain knows what you meant, so it supplies the corrections mentally.

    having read a bit further, i think there is something more important i might add.

    i am going to ask you to do 2 things. first, read what i posted as a response to your sister, as it is information i believe you very much need as well, and i think it ought to be much more common knowledge among the LDS. then i hope you will trust me sufficiently to check out the "mormon stories" episodes concerning the dancer BENJI SCHWIMMER. he discusses, at length, the journey he has made, publicly and privately, on his way to being whole.

    make no decisions now, but use the information i have handed to you, and much more as well. you deserve nothing less than a whole and complete life, on whatever timetable you get there. in a manner rather unusual for the LDS, the congregants are slowly steering the church elders to a different way of understanding their gay youth. i am glad you haven't resorted to a sham marriage and don't plan to. i married, not as a sham, but feeling very "moderne" and thinking i could love my wife and address the other feelings outside my marriage. we made that contract, but after 13 years of loving each other but neither of us being fulfilled, we divorced, and at 40 my real life resumed. there is a lot more to my story, but that's not the point here.

    do NOT be all positive and spiritual on your blog and in your dealings, but slowly dying inside. too many young mormon men have died of despair, leaving their families wondering how they might have done better. no more of that.

    best wishes
    jack

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry, but reading through the comments I've noticed that you have mentioned twice that the author has made minor mistakes in his writing. Just seems odd reading comments like that that have no capital letters...
      This post is honest and sincere and REAL. A misplaced comma is not going to distract from that.

      Delete
  24. Jimmy,

    This isn't a happy story. You came out to people, recording their reactions nonetheless, some of their responses were comedy, others were outright rejection (i'm not okay with that!) and still you blunder around with smiles and happiness like nothing is really wrong. Then you really bring the cake out and disclaim that you intend on being single and celibate your whole life. In other words, your a pristine example of what the religious right says a gay person should be- celibate, self-damning, and alone. Completely and utterly ALONE.

    This may sound a little rude, but take it from me, I'm older, I've been around the block, I've seen this story play out- you're making 'fun' of yourself, and your putting yourself up for the poster boy of something that is truly terrible and damaging.

    You deserve love, happiness, all the opportunities afforded to everyone else. You should be able to have a family if you want to, the only difference is you should be finding the right guy to build that foundation with, and I sincerely doubt some glorious omnipotent, omnipresent being(Oddly enough though sitting at one star in the universe), who has to know you are made the way your made is going to cast you into fiery hell, away from the eternal Mormon afterlife. So God creates you to let you fail to punish you? Only Mormons, Protestants, and Catholics could come up with something like that.

    What you're talking about translates into this, in execution-

    You're the gay guy who has no friends. Who has no real understanding of gay culture. You have only straight friends, most of them religious. Your family doesn't think you should be able to have romantic relationships, your 'good' friends don't you think you should, and a great deal of the people you run around and laugh and film videos with genuinely think, still, that you can just 'stop' or 'turn the other switch on'. You won't just never have sex James, you will never make love and have love be made to you. You will never go on a date and feel the spark, that fire light in your belly as you look at someone who might just be the right kind of person. You exclaim happiness and willingness to be the 65 year old man, alone, with no family, maybe a sibling, who will no doubt look back on his life and wonder what in the flying hell he was doing with his time.

    What you will be is a model used by your church, college, bishop, religious friends and family to promote terrible oppression on gay people, particularly young and innocent children subject to the message in the church. It's 'God's place that you be celibate, alone, denying yourself company and affection, that you should be surrounded by people who don't really believe you are who you are, who think you can overcome it, who don't believe n your full equal rights under the law, etc.

    And now, this is a part of my post where I'll put on my years of experience, having been through something similar to have you've been through, and impart you with a request-

    I demand that you stop presenting yourself as some sort of content gay man. You don't represent the gay community, your not part of the gay community, you are the kind of person I pray people don't hang around for fear they might catch part of what makes you sick. Stop pretending that your 'out', you are absolutely not, you are SHUTTERED IN KID.

    I wish you the best in life, that you figure these things out, and that you don't unwittingly become a poster boy for your friends and family who can now point to you and say gay and lesbian can do THIS, they have no right to relationship, family, love, children,they chould be completely celibate and alone- which, actually, translates into monasticism. Their whole life

    That sucks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same thing happened when he church's PR used Ty Mansfield as their spokesmodel for the new gaymormon website.

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYvuXHwlNq0

      -Justin

      Delete
    2. Joshua Weed was the latest example.

      I take exception to this post, great exception- when these celibate mormon 'coming outs' end with your getting married to a chick can we at least respect the actual gay community enough to not use their terminology that they have literally died over?

      Instead of pretending you love and have compassion to me why don't you put some mediocre thought into what your doing and how your presenting it.

      I will pray for this kid, deeply, and I will, trust me. But he's damned likely, doomed to a lonely life or an imitation of another person's life he's told he should have.

      It'll be catastrophe, catastrophe, catastrophe. Mark my words.

      Delete
    3. @Jeremy, ah but he is still very young with many opportunities to investigate the truth and test his current reality with the real world. I can see the spark in him from the video, he is going to a success story. I believe being a true and authentic person and living honestly and openly will win out in the end. There are two cases (Prop H8 and DOMA) before the Supreme Court of the United States. This is the Brown v. Board of Education and Loving v. Virginia of our time. Jimmy will find a new relationship in time with his church. I predict Jimmy will soon decide he can will marry the man of his dreams. All i can say is... what a lucky guy.

      Delete
    4. "I demand that you stop presenting yourself as some sort of content gay man. You don't represent the gay community, your not part of the gay community, you are the kind of person I pray people don't hang around for fear they might catch part of what makes you sick. Stop pretending that your 'out', you are absolutely not, you are SHUTTERED IN KID."

      While do people feel the need to tell others how to live? Can we only accept others when they agree with us? Why do people feel the need to belittle others beliefs? Do we only respect beliefs that mirror our own? Who is anyone to tell another what is "ok" to believe? So you are an atheist, that is your choice. He chooses to believe in a higher power and believe that there is a purpose for this life. That is his choice. The most bile filled comments are from gay men, angry that he has made the choice he has made. Why does his personal choice offend you so? It sounds as though the "religious" comments are more accepting and loving.

      Delete
    5. because we care for him, and we are aware of the many tragic stories that end in suicide or alcoholism or drug abuse that start out like this one.

      the very length of this post screams out that he is trying very hard to justify his church's instruction to be celibate even as nature and his body tell him that is wrong.

      i want him to know that he can still love god, believe in the mormon creed if he wants, but he should also know about another, loving community. one that will accept him fully. one that is filled with other creative people. one in which he can meet, and marry, and have physical relations with people just like him. the LGBT community.

      you've taken the first step. soon, ask for the courage to take the next, if you believe god listens and helps his loving children. that next step is into the light, the light of real love and acceptance. there are many gay men who have stories just like yours, but who have continued the journey in to health, love and happiness. if your mormon friends are good, they won't mind if you enter into a relationship with a man you love.

      christians say god is love. don't deny yourself love. i wish you all the best.

      Delete
    6. Here, here! Check out Matthew 19:11/12, there's more then one way to understand the Bible.

      Delete
  25. Hi Jimmy,

    I don't know if you remember me--I was in the district just after you in the MTC (Sister Maxwell--I play the viola). I saw your video and I think it's awesome. The three of us sisters just LOVED you and your whole district. I still sometimes get teary-eyed when I think of all of you Elders. You really took care of us! And I'm so excited to touch base with you and see what you're up to at this point in your life.

    I have a lot of personal experience with this issue, and I'm really impressed with you for believing that your testimony and your relationship with God is just as, if not more, important than your sexuality. The Lord sometimes asks us to do ridiculously difficult things. I mean RIDICULOUS. When I first got to Taiwan I was always saying to God, "REALLY? You seriously want me to get people to change their entire lives, and as if that weren't enough, you want me to do it in CHINESE? REALLY???" Ridiculous. But somehow it worked, at least for the few people he wanted me to touch. That may be a pretty insignificant example compared to what you are going through, but I imagine that you often ask similar questions to God. I think about someone like Abraham having to sacrifice his son. "REALLY? You make me wait 80 years for a son and then you want me to kill him? REALLY??" Totally crazy. Illogical. It makes no sense.

    But you make sense to God. And there is a place for you. And He loves you. And somehow we're all going to make it through our messy lives if we hold on to Him.

    ReplyDelete
  26. It would be a tragedy to waste your life and your sexuality because you can't free yourself from your childhood religious indoctrination and your superstitious world view. Every religionist believes that his belief system is the true one. You seem to be taking a first step on the road to enlightenment and self liberation. But you have more growing to do to free yourself from the damaging and dangerous irrationality of Mormonism. Don't waste your life on fairy tales.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well said!

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYvuXHwlNq0

      -Justin

      Delete
  27. Congratulations on coming out, now you just need to drop the whole 'god' delusion and realize that you can be you, unbound by myths depicting you or your desires as evil.

    <3

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  28. On thing I'd like to note though, before leaving you in your lonely and fiery pit you've made for yourself, is that this is NOT a coming out.

    As a demand on behalf of the gay community, stop using that terminology in relation to your life and this video. Please. This isn't coming out, in any sense of the term. You can live your fake existence with whatever absurd restrictions you want, but please don't come over and pull over terms and terminology and phrases that our community has actually fought tooth and nail, in some cases literally dying, for.

    It's not for you.

    You are not one of us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow how disrespectful and completely ignorant. coming out is very personal and has a very different meaning for each person. who are you to say this is not coming out? you are not a loving and kind human being and i feel sorry for you.

      Delete
    2. No, I am a loving and kind person, I reject your statement. I stand by my insistence. This is not coming out, this is not a coming out, it's the ex gay v.2.0 coming out, Josh Weed being v.2.1

      'Coming out' is something for gay people to do, not for shuttered in closet cases who are espousing a monastic celibate life, typically with surrounded with people who pity you, as a response to a condition they even admit their god made as part of their creation and writing.

      That makes no sense, I ain't happy about it being mixed in with MY community.

      This isn't a coming out, it's a catastrophe that might actually leak in and poison some other poor soul into wrecking his life for years, or perhaps even marrying someone he/she has no business tangling up in their damage.

      Delete
    3. you make gay people look bad.

      Delete
    4. No, I'm coming on here and calling the shots, being one of the only adults here with any actual knowledge on what its like to be a gay person, what its like living the way we live, and how oppression and suppression actually works out- which, newsflash, it ends in disaster. Alcoholism, substance use, depression, suicidal thoughts, it's all been linked and I'm proud to say its not my church or my community that's setting this kid down on this potential path.

      This is not a coming out, it is not a celebration of people, diversity, the way we are all different but the same. It is a closet case filming a video with people who pity and think very terribly of him, and he's to ignorant and uneducated to realize what he's actually subjecting himself to.

      Ex Gay's were originally suppose to be 'cured' and straight. That's all changed now.

      Now, there are Ex Gay's v.2.0 -> This is what Jimmy here is, he acknowledges he's gay but won't act on it and impresses to live a monastic life of pure celibacy(and complete and utter intimate loneliness, if you haven't felt it yet then think of me when you do, I'll have told you so).

      THEN, there is Ex Gay 2.1 -> This is Josh Weed, when the gay person who is 'super celibate' finds a woman and settles down and has kids. Because... A) Mormon theology is conflicted. In order to attain the highest level of salvation you MUST be married to an opposite gender partner in the church and have kids. BUT, the church says gay folk can just be celibate and monastic their whole life- they intentionally create two prongs of salvation with the desire, and insistence, that eventually people like Jimmy get to the next prong.

      And imagine that. Having been so celibate and lonely, having had such a long and unhealthy view of sex and sexuality that he could just finally lay down with a woman, not out of love or lust, but out of loneliness. And then to top it off, he'll assume that just by virtue of having maintained the ability to 'consumate' the relationship that he's cured and no longer alone. That's the Joshua Weed factor of this mess.

      So, yes.

      I will take exemption when he calls it COMING OUT.

      It's not. It's a catastrophe and I'll call it for what it is. He's living in a self-inflicted hell and attempting to present himself as a happy 'out' alternative.

      Yeah, DON'T DO THAT.

      Excuse me for being educated.

      Delete
    5. Perhaps you should go start your own blog if this is so offensive to you? And maybe try not to tell people what does and does not make them happy?

      Delete
    6. Jeremy,

      Congratulations on being a bigot. How do you know what HIS hell would be? I've lived in Hell. It's called sin. I've lived in joy. It's called abstinence from sin. If sex is joy, then I'm in Hell, because I only get it from ONE woman. And guess what - I must have been in HELL for years, because I was abstinent for a long time while I didn't get any while unmarried.

      Loneliness has nothing to do with sex. Loneliness has everything to do with leaving God and family. This man will have every opportunity to have the highest degree of salvation - just like any who do not have all opportunities in this life due to circumstances outside of their control.

      I'm sick of homosexuals telling me that I have to embrace their ideas of sexuality to be happy/free or whatever. Yet if I say the same, I'm a bigot? Sorry. I'm not the bigot here. Do what you want, I'll do what I want, and as long as you don't IMPOSE your belief system on me (which I never, ever have done as a faithful Mormon - I offer but never imposed) then we can get along. But I don't tell you what I do in the bedroom - please don't tell me.

      Delete
    7. he's not a bigot, he's expressing certain truths your church denies. more than just denies, it actively tries to suppress them, by spending millions of dollars on campaigns to deny the gay community its equal rights.

      i'm really glad you folks love your religion and its ways so much. but it is you, not the queer community, who are contributing to bigotry. do you really think Jesus would approve of enforcing inequality? Jesus, who succored to the poor, the downtrodden, prostitutes and tax collectors?

      it is the hypocrisy that we object to. hypocrisy that often leads to death of gay people who are told to conform to ritual rather than live a full, rich life and love.

      Delete
    8. Swing, I hope you are happy- I genuinely do. And I do hope that your wife doesn't lay up ever at night wondering what a marriage to an actual heterosexual man would be like, wondering if she is missing a certain passion or experience.

      But I hope that you are happy and you're okay. But most people who try to do what you do are not okay. It typically ends in catastrophe. And I think if you deny that you're denying a pretty obvious truth.

      The reality is Swing you didn't independently choose to make this decision. It was impressed upon you, by religion, by family, by friends, by all those around you. It wasn't free, it wasn't independent, it was motivated by fear from a specific type of understanding of something. And it was motivated by your fear that if you didn't marry and get sealed in a temple, per your teachings, you'd go to a part of the afterlife you find unsavory- or be damned, or something.

      I won't tell you to do anything. But I'm not going to sit here for your comfort and nod my head while you, Ty, Joshua, and Nirom try to tell me that your marriage is the same as my parents, or my friends parents, or any other heterosexual couple I know. It's not. It's motivated by fear, founded by fear, and sustained by fear- and then after having altered so significantly your views on sex, intimacy, and romance, you think you've conquered it just because you've been able to 'consumate' and drag kids into it.

      I hope you're okay. I take your word for it. I hope your kids will be okay.

      But I pray to God you don't spread it to anyone else, it's not real, it's not authentic, it's not honest, and it's against the design God made you by. For most people, certainly not all, its just going to lead to pain and suffering.

      I'll say something if I can prevent that, even if its just on the internet.

      Delete
    9. There might be credibility if he at least acknowledged the other religions that Celebrate and honor same-sex relationships but he Calls it sin, as though he's the one with special access to moral truths and others just simply aren't privy. That is the real bigotry and arrogance.

      Delete
  29. I was on CNN recently about all this. Happiness, normalcy, and your relationship with a higher power is a personal choice, NOT a universal truth. Truth is relative to the seeker. There are thousands of members of the LDS church who would embrace you and your partner should you decide to have one.
    Anyone who tells you differently is lying.

    Church leadership do not speak as God's voice to the world. They speak to their congregations, and have had to change the unchangeable doctrines of marriage, blacks, the roles of women, and even claimes of Jewish Native Americans and that there were church members who colonized on the moon.

    Good luck on your pursuit of truth. I sincerely hope you get outside the bubble and dogma blinders and open your mind, eyes, and heart to the real world around you. Innocence isn't ignorance.

    -Justin Utley
    Ex-Gay Therapy Survivor (Mormon)

    CNN link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYvuXHwlNq0

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    1. Thank you for the video link, the stark contract between rationalization, justification, intellectualization and being simply honest, true and authentic, was so obvious to anyone with critical thinking ability.

      Delete
    2. It was incredibly how Ty tried to lie about the reparative therapy sessions, and how with even a modest amount of push back he caved.

      Not only is he a sham, not an ex-gay, not a straight man, he's also an outright liar. Lots to look forward to becoming Jimmy.

      Delete
  30. I just saw your video, and after my little boo-hoo moment (sorry, I'm very sentimental) I wanted to sit down with you and talk for a while.

    First, I hope you'll read broadly about coming out. You are a pioneer for gay Mormons, but the coming-out trail has been blazed by others and might offer real insights. You seem to understand how to learn from people you might not fully agree with while not compromising your identity, so this isn't an attempt to change your mind.

    Second, I hope you will at some point be comfortable talking about the intersection of your Mormon identity with your gay identity. Will you marry a woman and have children? Many cultures don't disapprove of homosexuality so long as it doesn't interfere with family duties. Is that responsible or dishonest? You have a unique perspective and the process would be interesting to hear.

    Third, now that you have put your story into the public world, I hope you will be able to find comfort and acceptance out here that matter to you. Almost all gay people are born to straight parents, and that's a disconnect not shared by many other minorities. But you're not alone in the world, either.

    Last: anyone who makes a media splash is expected to remain permanently the same as he or she was in the video. You don't need to conform to anyone's expectations. If you need to, keep it private, but if your positions or feelings evolve, I hope you'll keep us posted.

    Feel free to contact me if you ever need to talk. I wish you all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  31. JAMES! I am so so proud of you! Wow you are such a strong person, I admire your courage and honesty! You've always been a good, kind, person..no matter what, there's only good things coming your way, because what you put out into the world is always good. I love you!! and I miss you!

    ReplyDelete
  32. And to Jeremy, and the people reacting to him: hey, everyone. It's true that the process is unique to the individual and it's up to the individual to follow whatever path he or she needs. But there is no denying that the church has caused egregious pain and damage, and someone so devoted to the church may not have a clue.

    Denying the truth of people wrecked by their faith is not doing any favors to people starting out on that path. Pretending everything is peachy when it isn't is part of the reason there is such a prescription drug abuse problem among Mormon women and suicide problem among Mormon teens. This stuff only gets addressed if it's brought into the light, and it's painful.

    Harsh words don't replace defense mechanisms with strength, but unalloyed applause teaches people to stop where they are and rest on those laurels. Both encouragement and harsh reality are needed. Just my $0.02.

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    1. Pawn, there is enough here to legitimately offend me that I feel I should say something. I stand behind what I posted- I object to the usage of 'coming out' on this post and video, I wish he'd take a long look at the people around him and what they actually think about him. I'd encourage him to realize that this is, tactically, NOT the church's plan for him to be celibate and alone forever- this is a farce, I know it, you know it, we all know it. They beat these people down into loneliness and despair, until they can settle in and marry someone and emulate a life that's not actually happening. All the while people like Jimmy, Joshua Weed, and Ty Mansfield consider it success because they just managed to 'consumate' it, and in their small world that's all being gay actually is about- sex. It's all just sex to Jimmy, Ty, and Joshua. It couldn't possibly be that your entire gender experience is, and forever and always will be, completely different and not the same as a heterosexual man.

      His folks and friends and 'church' are going to push him to do the same old, that's how it works, and it will waste his life and some other person's life.

      I pray he figures out that he's not damaged or broken, but that he was intended to be just the way he is, that no one has a monopoly on truth.

      Delete
    2. 1500 species are homosexual or bi-sexual. Only humans judge and condemn, which is learned un-like sexual orientation. Who are inter-sex people supposed to marry? Do they get a choice according to church doctrine? I've never heard an answer to this question...

      Delete
    3. Jeremy, I love that you are pushing this guy toward truth beyond encouragement. You're really fighting for him. What will his life be like ten years from now? Twenty? Fifty? Will it ever be possible for him to live and love authentically? Churches that control you "from here to eternity" can be the hardest to reconcile with. If he is so deeply invested in it that he'd rather live and die alone than choose another path, the church is the real problem, and not this young man's first small steps.

      And Anonymous: to the best of my knowledge, intersex people are not acknowledged or addressed by the Mormon church. If I were a betting person, I would imagine they would be called on to live according to their fertility. I don't know the church's position on natural infertility in males or females (though I do know wives bear the brunt of social judgment.) Wherever a person is on the spectrum of biology or sexuality (or asexuality), the duty is to "fill the earth."

      I feel obliged to point out that a religion has a better chance of becoming established and powerful if membership is expanded through aggressive proselytizing and breeding. The LDS church has followed in the Catholic church's footsteps in both.

      Delete
    4. Pawn, he probably can't be saved, I wish he could. But just like Megan Phelps finally having her 'Aha!' moment that led her to leave the Westboro Baptist Church he's really going to have to find his way to that on his own at some point. I'd like to think that what I post might help, might push him along, catch his attention or click in his mind- but I'm not naive. People like him, people like the one's coming on here, they are brainwashed, they can't think as far ahead as we, they can't engage critically in a manner absent their myths and religious beliefs.

      So why take the time? Because I care? Because I see him, he's around my age, he could have been me, I could have been him save for luck of the draw and the geographic location of our birth. Because someone should cry for people like him, people that are damned, the people that never had a chance. Someone should do something, even if it's just this.

      )O(

      - J

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    5. Pawn, if you want to engage me more i'd ask you to click on my name and go friend me on Facebook- I'm trying to stop coming over here, it just makes very, very sad and upset.

      Delete
    6. Sorry, Jeremy -- the link gets me an error message. I'm on Wordpress if you ever get there. Thanks for the back and forth, either way. Bright blessings!

      Delete
    7. http://www.facebook.com/jeremy.adkison?ref=tn_tnmn

      ;)

      Delete
  33. I'd just like to say that no matter what anyone tells you or may have to says- stick to YOUR beliefs, not theirs. If what YOU believe is that you should live your life a certain way, then do it! And with what you have said here, that is TRULY impressive! I admire you for standing up for what you believe in and not only that but being willing to go public with it! Believe in yourself and don't let what others say get you down!

    Life is hard, but you can do hard things! (as one of my professors always says)Don't give up hope! The answers are out there, we may just not have all of them yet.

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  34. I'm not gay, or Mormon or even a man, but your story is still incredibly inspiring to me. Thank you.

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  35. Hey, Jimmy, I am entirely impressed with both your blog post and the video. I'm a gay Mormon, temple married, three kids, and I live in a far away place (overseas) where Mormons are just slightly less usual and just slightly more acceptable than gays.

    I just want you to give you my full and unequivocal support and encouragement for what you did. You are an exceptional person, and you do not necessarily need to be celibate for the rest of your life. I have zero attraction to girls, but I am happily temple married for ten years and I'm getting happier in my marriage with every passing hour.

    Stick to your guns and take care! I would love to get to know you in person.

    All the best!

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  36. Being a genuine, true and authentic person, is a hard life. It may seem mean spirited and some would even say bigoted to excommunicate folks for legal civil marriage, but they don't understand the true will of the lord. Episcopal, Unitarian, Reformed Judaism, Quaker, Buddhists who celebrate and honor gay marriages are not blessed with special access to moral truth.

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    1. how arrogant of you. those groups are filled with people who love god and jesus as much or more than you do. what gives you the right to judge them and call them wrong? your arrogance is a sin according to every christian creed there is, including your own.

      Delete
  37. Hey man, I think you're great! And cute.....

    I wish you the best,

    Ron

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  38. I am all at once so uplifted and disheartened by your story. I congratulate you on beginning to come to terms with yourself, and with having the courage to share it with others. But I fear for your happiness, your future, and the way that antigay advocates will use your message to perpetuate oppression. I applaud what seems to be an evolution within you regarding these issues, and I hope this transformation continues in the right direction, and that you ultimately recognize your right to a life overflowing with love and happiness. I have no authority when it comes to God, nor do I have anything I can offer specifically related to your religion, but I can tell you as a human, and as a person of values, that love does not bring any harm to this world. Inviting and allowing love into your life will not only enrich you, but it will touch all of those who encounter you as only love can. I do not want to stifle your message in way that would lead to you feeling attacked. I would never want to contribute to further depressing a struggling lgbt youth. However, I must point to the fact that there are many more than you and protecting struggling gay youth, particularly in communities as uninviting as the mormon church, is of utmost importance. And, unfortunately, I am not sure that your message, at least as it stands now, is going to enrich the lives of these struggling youth. I fear it will only reinforce the idea that gays must be punished, and while I again am happy for the triumphs you have made, you all at once claim to be happy the church is growing more accepting while also happily obliging to the idea that you should be punished by leading a celibate and lonely life. I hope you continue to grow beyond this narrow view, I hope your life is full of all of the equal love and happiness you so deserve, but I also hope you will think twice before encouraging other struggling gay youth to follow in your current footsteps...on the path to a life full of self prescribed punishment and a second class existence in the loneliest and most love lacking of ways.

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  39. Life is full of choices, thousands of us are ex-gays and our stories need to be told. Many on here only want to promote the homosexual lifestyle. While we were less valiant in the spirit world, we were told we must carry the heavy cross of same-sex attraction because of this during our mortal existence. This burden can be eased, reparative therapies and new drugs like Depo-Provera have helped obviate same sex attraction, removing a disability preventing our ability to lead normal, healthy and happier lives during our mortal time here on earth.

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    1. I am so sad for you. But more important, I must let anyone who reads your post know that every major psychological and health association in the US not only stands by the assertion that said "reparative therapies" do not work, but that they can cause serious lasting damage to any subjected to religiously motivated, scientifically invalidated pseudo-science techniques. The Pan American Health Organization (PAHO) stated that, "services that aim to "cure" people with a non-heterosexual sexual orientation lack medical justification and represent a serious threat to the health and well-being of affected people, and noted that there is a professional consensus that homosexuality is a natural variation of human sexuality and cannot be regarded as a pathological condition." In a letter dated February 23, 2011 to the Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, the Attorney General of the United States stated "while sexual orientation carries no visible badge, a growing scientific consensus accepts that sexual orientation is a characteristic that is immutable". The American Psychiatric Association has condemned "psychiatric treatment, such as reparative or conversion therapy which is based upon the assumption that homosexuality per se is a mental disorder or based upon the a priori assumption that the patient should change his/her sexual homosexual orientation." So anyone reading, do not buy into this false and harmful scam. Statistics show that those who believe they are cured generally relapse, they are much more likely to suffer from depression, drug abuse, and other destructive behaviors. Those who claim to have avoided all of this are either lying or suffering severe self delusion while leading a life a prisoner to their own self contempt.

      Delete
    2. Encourage you to pray for a testimony of the lords truth and then ask your bishop about Ty and Joshua.. shining examples of a disability removed and eternal happiness promised by living the lords plan. You are entitled to your opinion, but not your own set of facts.

      Delete
    3. But that's my point, this isn't my opinion, these are the scientific facts. Not my own set of facts, but the facts of every respected medical organization in the US. I pray for you and all of those that come into contact with your self loathing preachings, may they realize the error in your ways, and find peace and love for who they are instead of striving their whole life long to be something they're not and never will be.

      Delete
    4. Listen to CNN's TY's video showing how LDS sponsored repairative thearapy changed him into a normal healthy person. Eternal truth is what it is...

      Delete
    5. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYvuXHwlNq0

      Delete
    6. Ty is not a 'normal healthy person' in ANY sense of the word. He outright lied about the 'group sessions' he went to on that episode of CNN, they were outright reparative therapy, and he won't even identify as ex-gay or heterosexual. In other words, he's beaten himself down about his sexuality and has such awful views about the role of sex, love, and intimacy that he's trained himself to be able to 'perform' in a heterosexual sexual act and not contrives that to equate to being 'normal'.

      It's messed up. It'll ruin those kids in some way, and the whole thing may go up in flames at some point- these sorts of things tend to. It's a mess, and a sad one that the church perpetuates to keep men and women in marriages by tying them down with all sorts of responsibility.

      Ty and Joshue are not straight, they are not cured, they are broken- shatteringly so. Their marriages are not real marriages, not in a true loving, intimate, romantic sense. They are enactments, acts that they engage in motivated by one simple thing- their religion and their belief that they will be on some level eternally damned if aren't able to have sex, get 'sealed' in the 'temple', and have children.

      You're entitled to opinions, but not to facts, and not to false observations.

      This sin, in its most wicked and insidious form.

      I see you all for what you are, and you're the devil. Every last one of you.

      Delete
  40. Jimmy-
    I'm very impressed and moved by your story and your video. I'm a 55-year-old, straight, married, active LDS, former bishop, and I hate that we have to be defined by such silly tags when God loves us as individuals and every individual has a complex relationship with self, God, sex, and other human beings. In my lifetime, I have seen the church and myself change a lot and mostly for the better. In this area of same-sex attraction and behavior, wow, it is just a difficult thing. I wish I could have understood things better 15 years ago when I was bishop or even in my youth trying to figure my own self out - or through the rest of my life to this point - and I'm sure some of it will continue. Gays were not "less valiant" in the spirit world (all we need is more false doctrine creeping up!) and don't need drug therapy. that "Anonymous" at 3:26 p.m. I sense as a phony. (And we all are to some degree.) Keep up the good work in all the painful challenge. The Gospel is true. God lives. Policies die. Stay true to yourself and your covenants. It's a lifelong effort for all of us.

    This wonderful post is going to get slammed by an onslaught of comments. You have struck a spark that may blaze. I hope it goes for the good. I wish you all the best.

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    1. Grant, suggest you listen to a few recent conferences and reaffirm your testimony from the spoken word of church leaders.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous at 4:41
      My testimony is just fine, thank you. And my name's on mine.

      Delete
    3. Congrats Grant, You win the best testimony of month contest for using your name. You can't pick and choose which doctrine is true or not. Its either ALL true, not just some parts of it.

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    4. I pray one day you see your insidious lies and wickedness for the damage and harm they've caused.

      Delete
  41. Glad you came out, good for you. It's too bad the prophet, seers, and revelators of your church don't feel the same way about your approach:

    “There is a falsehood that some are born with an attraction to their own kind, with nothing they can do about it. They are just ‘that way’ and can only yield to those desires. That is a malicious and destructive lie. While it is a convincing idea to some, it is of the devil. No one is locked into that kind of life. From our premoral life we were directed into a physical body. There is no mismatching of bodies and spirits. Boys are to become men --masculine, manly men --ultimately to become husbands and fathers. No one is predestined to a perverted use of these powers.”

    - Apostle Boyd K. Packer, 1976 General Conference, speech entitled “To Young Men Only”; online at http://www.lds-mormon.com/only.shtml

    “Applying the First Presidency's distinction to the question of same-sex relationships, we should distinguish between (1) homosexual (or lesbian) ‘thoughts and feelings’ (which should be resisted and redirected), and (2) ‘homosexual behavior’ (which is a serious sin).
    “We should note that the words homosexual, lesbian, and Gay are adjectives to describe particular thoughts, feelings or behaviors. We should refrain from using these words as nouns to identify particular conditions or specific persons. Our religious doctrine dictates this usage. It is wrong to use these words to denote a condition, because this implies that a person is consigned by birth to a circumstance in which he or she has no choice in respect to the critically important matter of sexual behavior.
    “Feelings are another matter. Some kinds of feelings seem to be inborn. Others are traceable to mortal experiences. Still other feelings seem to be acquired from a complex interaction of ‘nature and nurture.’ All of us have some feelings we did not choose, but the gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us that we still have the power to resist and reform our feelings (as needed) and to assure that they do not lead us to entertain inappropriate thoughts or to engage in sinful behavior.
    “Different persons have different physical characteristics and different susceptibilities to the various physical and emotional pressures we may encounter in our childhood and adult environments. We did not choose these personal susceptibilities either, but we do choose and will be accountable for the attitudes, priorities, behavior, and ‘lifestyle’ we engraft upon them.
    “Essential to our doctrinal position on these matters is the difference between our freedom and our agency. Our freedom can be limited by various conditions of mortality, but god's gift of agency cannot be limited by outside forces, because it is the basis for our accountability to him. The contrast between freedom and agency can be illustrated in the context of a hypothetical progression from feelings to thoughts to behavior to addiction. This progression can be seen on a variety of matters, such as gambling and the use of tobacco and alcohol.”

    - Apostle Dallin H. Oaks, “Same-Gender Attraction,” Ensign, October 1995

    “Homosexuality is an ugly sin, repugnant to those who find no temptation in it, as well as to many past offenders who are seeking a way out of its clutches. It is embarrassing and unpleasant as a subject for discussion but because of its prevalence, the need to warn the uninitiated, and the desire to help those who may already be involved in it, it is discussed in this chapter.”

    - Prophet Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p. 78

    Cognitive dissonance is a powerful thing. Maybe you should consider a religion/path that will allow you to fully embrace who you are and not subject yourself to be a second-class citizen. Best of luck to you, and congrats again on coming out!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Everyone has a cross to bear... some crosses are just heavier than others...

      Delete
    2. Some cross are self imposed.

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    3. What so many people do not understand is that it was the medical community who indoctrinated society that being gay or homosexual was because of environment. Parents were often guilt-ed into believing that they caused their children to be gay because of the type of environment they grew up in. "You let your son play with dolls? No wonder he is gay!" they would say.

      Being a prophet, seer, and revelator does not mean you know everything. You only know what God tells you. And apparently.. the only thing God has told man is that the sexual acts of homosexuality are what is not acceptable.

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    4. No, MrNirom, it is not a choice or a disease. Some people are wired one way, others a different way. #SettledFactofHumanExistenceGetOverIt

      Delete
    5. Are you totally driven by your emotions and bodily desires only? You have no control over them? Having same sex attraction is not a choice. It was once thought of that way. There are many who "choose" to be attracted to the same sex and engage themselves in the acts. The choice is there whether or not one pursues and acts on their "natural" tendencies.

      And.. no.. being homosexual is not a disease.. but it was once thought that it was. It is still in our power whether or not we give in to what our natural desires are. We don't have to. We don't have to follow our programming. The brain can override what the body wants. That is called self control.

      Delete
    6. No, that is called censorship.

      I was made one way, intended to be one way, and I don't need to change to fit the narrow view of hyper religious puritanical fanatics.

      I refuse to believe that a great and powerful omnipotent and omnipresent being, God, cares so much about what I do with my wobbly bits that he deliberately and willfully allowed me to be born with a perma handicap.

      I am not broken, I am not diseased, I am not simply just 'following bodily desires', I'm being the way I was made and intended to be. And when I love I love big and it's not a sin, it doesn't hurt you, me, my partner, your kids, anyone on this planet. And no one is going to hell for it.

      You may beat that out of Jimmy and Ty and Joshua, but you'll never beat it out of me.

      Delete
    7. there is nothing intelligent, noble, special or holy by denying the very impulses your creator gave you. seems to me that's defying his will.

      Delete
  42. Well guess what. You're not gay. You're a celibate homosexual. A gay person is a proud member of society that is fully functional emotionally and physically. A gay person is proud of the struggles of those that went before him after Stonewall, AIDS and the religious rights attacks. A gay person would not permit religious restrictions that would force them to forgo the full love of another person. As a gay man I've had to fight the restrictions of my nominal religion Catholicism to make my own way in life and seeking God. I was lucky to find a partner 40 years ago and we make up a family that God can smile on.

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    1. And your not 'out' either. Your on the one way Mormon roller-coaster of gay horror where you end up married to a woman after years of shattering yourself into a hollow shell of what you could have been.

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    2. Does seem kind of mean for the LDS church to excommunicate homosexuals who legally civil marry while other members look on as if this is just.. 1960's racism like behavior is alive and well.

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    3. Right, because tricking some poor woman into a shame, second class, passionless marriage is a pretty good example of God's living love in the Mormon faith.

      And they say they believe in gender equality.

      Delete
    4. Been there done that, said I was gay before I married.. at 19. I didn't want to be a lonely old homosexual alcoholic. Now that I'm old, I am single, but with wonderful friends. I do have a son, who refuses to have anything to do with his gay dad, sadly poisoned by years of central Utah LDS religious dogma.

      Delete
  43. Dear Jimmy,

    I posted your coming out to my facebook page because I loved it and i loved it because I'm also in the middle of coming out and I found myself admiring so much the way you've been able to have fun with it and laugh and also at the same time be honest about the highs and lows in your post here. And guess what happened, there were other people who loved it and came to offer support and appreciation and three more people shared your video on their fb walls. And then after that, others showed up with political comments on both sides and I tried to moderate it politely but honestly, my heart sank because I just wanted to celebrate and honor you -- your journey and the incredible courage I know it takes to come out to the Mormon community. My heart sinks again as I read this thread and read some of the comments to you. I can't respond to every one, I don't have the time or energy but I can only imagine what it might be like. I hope you have people -- real people as opposed to faceless and sometimes nameless commenters on the internet -- around you, who know you well, who love you deeply and will listen to you as you process through all this now and as time goes on. Clearly, you have consistently made sound decisions for yourself in your life thus far and you will continue to do so. Your story is your own to write and I sincerely wish you well on your journey.

    Laura Skaggs Dulin

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  44. Dear Jimmy,

    I posted your coming out to my facebook page because I loved it and i loved it because I'm also in the middle of coming out and I found myself admiring so much the way you've been able to have fun with it and laugh and also at the same time be honest about the highs and lows in your post here. And guess what happened, there were other people who loved it and came to offer support and appreciation and three more people shared your video on their fb walls. And then after that, others showed up with political comments on both sides and I tried to moderate it politely but honestly, my heart sank because I just wanted to celebrate and honor you -- your journey and the incredible courage I know it takes to come out to the Mormon community. My heart sinks again as I read this thread and read some of the comments to you. I can't respond to every one, I don't have the time or energy but I can only imagine what it might be like. I hope you have people -- real people as opposed to faceless and sometimes nameless commenters on the internet -- around you, who know you well, who love you deeply and will listen to you as you process through all this now and as time goes on. Clearly, you have consistently made sound decisions for yourself in your life thus far and you will continue to do so. Your story is your own to write and I sincerely wish you well on your journey.

    Laura Skaggs Dulin

    ReplyDelete
  45. Your story makes me sad. I'm sorry that you think that you need to deprive yourself of human companionship just because you are gay. All people deserve to find that special person to spend your life with. You look like a funny, fun guy. Don't you think God would want you to share your great personality with a soul mate?

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  46. I find your story incredibly depressing.

    Your church was wrong about blacks participating in the church for over a hundred years so one can hope that their archaic and inhumane demands on gay folk is changed in a similar fashion. Hopefully in quicker fashion, for your sake.

    Good luck and all the best, Jimmy.

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  47. Jimmy,

    Let me share with you something I recently found out. This isn't about being gay per se.. but it might give you insight to answer such questions that seem impossible to answer. I will tell you the story... infer from it what you like. Take from it and "liken" it to your own life.

    First let me say you will be bombarded by all sorts of people. Most will try to tell you and try to convince you that if it is "natural".. then do it. Don't deny yourself. As a Latter Day Saint you know that it is our challenge to overcome the Natural Man / Woman in each of us... whatever the "Natural" part is. And I know from first hand experience that there are some things about my Natural Man that I will never overcome.. I just have to "deny" it what it wants. Ok.. that said.. let me share with you DeLynn's story in his own words.

    "At an early age.. I was diagnosed with a disease called Cystic Fibrosis. My entire life I have battled this along with other complications that would come my way."

    "In the early morning hours of Wednesday, November 30, I woke up to the realization that I was no longer in my body. In fact, I was being drawn down a tunnel. Had it not been for the books I had read about near-death experiences, I would have probably been ignorant of where I was."

    "At this point in my experience I became aware of a voice talking to me. My surroundings, and my analysis of them, had so interested me that I had not paid attention to the voice at first. It was a soft, fatherly voice that kept repeating my name. Facing the light, and then turning 90 degrees to my left and looking up at a slight angle, I looked to see where the voice was coming from. There was no one that I could see -- but the voice persisted, not in my ears, but in my mind. I finally responded by asking the voice... What?"

    "The voice didn't immediately respond. I wondered how I could hear with my mind and not my ears, and I learned that it wasn't necessary for me to understand the process just then. My mind next thought the questions: Why am I here? Why me? I'm a good guy.. why did I die?"

    "The voice answered: 'You are here because you have earned the right to be here based on what you did on Earth. The pain you have suffered qualifies you to be here. You have suffered as much pain in 37 years as a normal person might have suffered in 87 years." I asked: 'It's pain that gets me here?' And the answer was Yes."

    "This still puzzled me so I asked: But why was it necessary for me to suffer so? I was a worthy member of the Church; I kept all the commandments. Why me?"

    "Then I received the most startling answer. He said to me: 'You chose your disease and the amount of pain you would be willing to suffer before this life... when you were in a premortal state. It was your choice.' "

    "While I was hearing this voice, I became aware that it was a familiar voice -- it was one that I knew. It was a vice that I had not heard during my mortal lifetime. When it was speaking to me, though, there was no question but that I know who it was. There was enormous love for me in the voice."

    "My interviewer then asked me: 'You said DeLynn that you knew who the voice was. Who was it?' "

    "It was my Father in Heaven."

    "It was not Jesus Christ?" he asked.

    "No."

    "And you felt love in the voice?"

    "I answered: 'We don't have a word that would describe what I felt from Him toward me. The closest word we have is love, but it doesn't begin to describe the feelings... you have to feel it. "

    "When He told me that it was my choice, in a premortal environment, to suffer when I came to Earth, I was both astonished and incredulous. He must have understood my incredulity, because I was immediately transported to my premortal existence."

    Continued --->

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. "There was a room that I was viewing from above and to the side, but at the same time I was sitting in it. In a sense I was both an observer and a participant. About 30 people were in the room, both men and women, and we were all dressed in the white jump suit - type of garment."

      "An instructor was in the front of the room, and he was teaching about accountability and responsibility -- and about pain. He was instructing us about things we had to know in order to come to Earth and get our bodies. Then he said, and I will never forget this: 'You can learn lessons in one of two ways. You can move through life slowly, and have certain experiences, or there are ways that you can learn the lesson very quickly through pain and disease.' He wrote on the board the words: cystic fibrosis, and he turned and asked for volunteers. I was a volunteer; I saw me raise my hand and offer to take the challenge."

      "The instructor looked at me and agreed to accept me. That was the end of the scene, and it change forever my perspective of the disease that I previously felt was a plague on my life. No longer did I consider myself a victim. Rather, I was a privileged participant, by choice, in an eternal plan. That plan, if I measured up to the potential of my choice, would allow me to advance in mortal life in the fastest way possible. True, I would not be able to control the inevitable slow deterioration of my mortal body, but I could control how I chose to handle my situation emotionally and psychologically. The specific choice of was to help me learn dignity in suffering. My understanding in the eternal sense was complete - I knew that I was a powerful, spiritual being that chose my marvelous, mortal existence."

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    3. Being gay isn't a disease, and no matter anyone's backwards cult religion, founded by womanizer, is going to change facts.

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    4. Same sex attraction is only a short term mortal disability we chose in the pre-existence to prove our worthiness of eternal blessings. We love and accept those with mortal challenges, even those that can never marry.

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    5. To Anonymous (7:19) I never said being gay is a disease. If you think I said that then you missed my point.

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    6. It is not a disease, and having loving relationships with people of the same gender is not immoral or world-destroying. And no, I don't care what your absurd religion says(that treated Black people like crap and had polygamy until the cost outweighed the virtue of faith)- God does not hate people or damn them for being gay or for having a relationship and family.

      We are wired the way we are wired and we are victimized and targeted for being different and not fitting in. That is all.

      Carry on, let people live their lives free of your poison.

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    7. I am sure you don't care what my religion says. And you telling me that God does not damn people for being gay... you would be right about that. People damn themselves by not obeying the laws of God. Yes.. we are wired the way we are.. but we do not have to accept that we are wired to disobey God's law and can not do a thing about it. Talk about being a robot.

      Polygamy is wrong? Really? You gonna condemn polygamy? Here you want the rights of gays to include marriage.. and yet you want to deny people who want to engage in polygamy? How hypocritical is that?

      Delete
    8. Nirom, like most Mormons you get half way by stop at the speed bump. It is not that I fault you for having a polygamous past, it's that your religion on various issues has without argument JUST CHANGED as understanding of those things progressed. Polygamy didn't really work, it victimized women and children and it was stopping Utah from going into the union. Even though it was, factually it was, a bedrock principle of your faith, and your first 'prophet' founded it as so and practiced as such, it changed because it had to. Then you guys treated black people, as your doctrine said you should, like second class citizens incapable of salvation.

      And guess what? You changed that.

      So why is it that these people make you so uncomfortable that you can't concede that, like race, men 200 and 2,000 years ago probably didn't have the most understanding and intelligent view of something as complex as human sexuality. How come the Mormon ability to pragmatically and critically reason, in conjunction with prophecy, can work for all these other examples but not this one? Why are they so bothered by gay people? Because their so few, and their so different?

      You're 'God' did not make a universe only to show up 200 years ago with the 'right religion'. That is inconceivable to me and I reject it, profoundly so.

      You can be gay, in a relationship if you choose, married if you choose, with a family if you choose, with kids if you choose, and you will not go to hell for it, and God could care less of it.

      What God no doubt does NOT approve of are sham marriages, where men are trying to enact and pretend to be something their not. Where the motivation isn't love and passion and romance and the desire to have a family but to establish a Mormon prong to enter in the highest form of heaven and salvation. What God cannot approve of us is a religious regime in which fear, loneliness and despair is the entrance into 'eternal salvation'. That is no God.

      That, buddy, is a false religion.

      You ruin people. No matter how you look at it, you shatter them, you bring people like Jimmy, Ty, and Joshua pain and misery, and you rob some woman your already taught to devalue out of a real, meaningful, honesty, passionate marriage.

      Like I said before, you are the devil. I see you for exactly what you are.

      Delete
    9. Tell me Jeremy.. is just using my last name a way that make you feel as if you degraded me? You don't know most Mormons so I don't give much credibility to what you have to say. The Lord instituting polygamy was for his purposes.. not ours. It worked out fine. God's ways are not man ways.

      Your explanation of our doctrine is not correct yet you try to profess as if you have the inside track. You don't. Becoming a State had nothing to do with polygamy changing. And as for black people... they always had the same opportunity for salvation as any white person did. So don't try that tactic.

      And yes.. God did show up about 193 years ago to tell the world.. it is time to wind up the scene. The earth as you know it will change, the Lord Jesus Christ will come in Glory and all the wicked from this earth will be destroyed as it goes into the last 1000 years of its paradisaical glory. Mock it all you want Jeremy.. it is your eternal soul on the line. Play with it as you like.

      Mormons are not bothered by gay people for being gay. They care about the salvation of the soul. They warn what the prophets have declared as God's word. Repent of sins.. right your life. You can ignore it... and for you Jeremy.. I see that you will. But by what book.. by what Prophet of God.. do you claim that God could care less about it? You don't know nor could you understand the things of God.

      What you call a sham marriage I can see God being please that two people are trying to work out their salvation the best way they can. Rather than the glory for themselves.. they care about the Glory of God. This Earth life is our test.. it is our trial.. it is our temporary abode. You treat it as our final destination. These are the days of our probation. This is the place that we try.. as hard as we can.. to do not what we want to do.. not what just feels good... not for our self pleasure... but to prove ourselves. To obey. Fear and despair are what you promote. Rather than embrace the laws of God.. and do the best you can with what you got.. you rebel. You protest. You deceive and lead people down forbidden paths. Jeremy.. it is you who are of the devil.. not me. It is I who see you.

      Delete
    10. Right Nirom, you keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day all the deception and shame will be worth it, you might even nab a few more lost souls like Jimmy, Ty, and Joshua. But make no mistake, you are what you are, and no amount of myth is going to change that.

      You will always be the devil, walking in disguise and in the flesh.

      Delete
    11. Again, this comes from a civilized man who supports the practice of 'plural marriage'.

      So much to look up to become Jimmy. Enjoy your own personal hell.

      Delete
  48. Okay, so I'm going to be one of a bazillion comments on this, but I'll write anyway. You are not alone! I am a gay mormon as well. I've gone on a mission and attend the temple, and eventually decided that I wanted to have kids, so I got married to a guy that I love, even if I'm not all that attracted to him. And yes, just in case you are wondering, he knows, and he's amazingly supportive of me being "out." I totally believe it's possible to have every blessing of the gospel and still be gay. I hope you stay happy, and find a way to have everything you want, even if sometimes it doesn't make sense.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're the diseased one.

      Delete
  49. Jimmy,
    I find your story inspiring! Like so many of the the other comments, it's good to be honest with yourself. Being GAY is a gift it doesn't mean you're a homosexual. You're probably very talented, full of energy, and have unknown gifts yet to be taped into. I told my wife when I was 40, she didn't know what to think. I was attracted to her in part because she looked somewhat manly. This helped me to keep my covenants in the Temple. We have 5 incredible children. 2 have been on missions and 2 more are getting ready to go. They all know that dad is gay and I love my wife. Sometimes my mind wonders and I have to talk about it. Sometimes there's someone to talk to and some times not. I'm the Bishop's secretary in the ward and I have not kept it from him either. I also hold a current recommend. I just have to work extra hard keep my thoughts "clean." It's hard but worth it.
    Thank you for sharing!
    -Robert

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  50. grindr answers your problem, don't think too much ;)

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  51. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  52. The strength of your testimony is awesome! I cannot imagine the struggle you go through daily but am very impressed with the strength you show in living for eternity. Great perspective.

    Elder Andersen was my mission president and a very very wise and loving man. Loved hearing that he touched your life in some way. He certainly touched mine.

    May your faith forever remain strong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, for helping in the wasting of this boy's life. May your eternal father on Kobol shine on you.

      Delete
    2. LOL.. Kolob.. that is the correct spelling.. is not a planet. It is a governing star. You should know at least a little bit about something if you are going to use it to be critical.

      Delete
    3. Says the man who thinks God is on a star and that Native Americans are Israelites. Utah air must be sweet.

      Delete
    4. You really don't know what you're talking about, do you? Go talk to an actual LDS member before you spout off such drivel.

      Delete
    5. Says the man who thinks god makes people homosexuals to damn them with a hellish life deserving of a fantasy world when you die.

      Utah air must be sweet and your compassion unlike anything I have ever seen.

      Shame on you for what you do to these people.

      Delete
    6. LOL God is not on a star. Who told you that? I will bet you don't even believe in God.. or a God. Your words are what damn people. The hellish life is not on this earth.. but the one you will live in the next one. All anyone can do is warn the people. But if they heed not the warning, then they will blame no one but themselves. Shame on you for the path you ask these people to go down.

      Delete
    7. I'm not really sure what you are talking about and am going to attribute your ramblings to mental illness or smoking crack. Drugs are bad for you, yo.

      Firstly, I'm female. Secondly, I don't live in Utah, nor was I born there. You have a very narrow, bitter view of the LDS church and the world in general. I feel bad for you.

      Delete
    8. That narrow bitter view is instigated by people like you and fueled by people like you. You can only blame yourself for that, try stepping out of your bubble.

      And no, I'll pass on your woman hating, gay hating, minority hating religion founded by a polygamist in Utah. Enjoy your crap religion.

      Delete
    9. I will and do enjoy my religion. It is you who has the hate festering inside.

      Delete
  53. This was interesting. I think you must be a good boy, what I don't get is why do you identify yourself as gay? There have to be other defining characteristics about you. Admittedly, I find it self absorbed and annoying. I am attracted more to dark haired fellas than light haired ones, but if it came down to it and the light haired fella was more responsible and had good fathering potential, I'd ignore my preference and marry the light haired guy. Can't you just be reasonable like that? Are females not people or something? Maybe you feel you can't get along with them? I'm being quite honest when I state that with someone who seems decent and sufficiently disciplined like yourself, why you discriminate against women this way. Did you have a strong father figure in your life? I notice you didn't mention him in the video. I'll bet the issue has it's roots in that relationship. You are being so open already, maybe you could educate us further. Honesty is the best policy, to your credit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now, that right there is what you call compassionate conservatism. LOL

      Delete
    2. congratulations on listing every ignorant, false, disproven, ridiculous stereotype about gay men there is.

      people like you are disgusting.

      Delete
  54. I don't know if you'll read this far down. Heck, I wouldn't after so many negative and accusatory posts. But for what it's worth, I'm proud of you. Yes, I'm a straight, non-LDS Christian from the Internet you've never met and probably never will, but I'm still proud of you. You took a brave stand, even though others might disapprove. But know this: even though you might be looking at a life of celibacy, you'll never be alone. Keep close with your friends and family, you'll need their love. The rest of the world may not understand you. You might feel like the perpetual paraiah at times, but you're clearly an intelligent, charasmatic, and talented individual. You are tremendously blessed. Although you've taken an unconventional stand coming out as a gay moron, your life will be filled with the blessings God has chosen to give you.

    ReplyDelete
  55. It is hilarious watching people slam this young man for the way he is handling this. Apparently, being part of a community with a strict dogmatic approach to behavior sucks whether the community identifies itself as Mormon or Gay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Misappropriating what it means to 'come out' and be 'gay' tends to rile up a few feathers. Not to mention his dehumanizing it is to the poor boy, and how daft he is at what's going on and what he's doing to himself.

      Delete
    2. The only people who are slamming him are those who think he should give up his faith and follow them down the path that they are taking.

      Delete
    3. No Nirom, the people criticizing him have pretty good reason because he A) Isn't really gay in any traditional sense of the word, and B) Is botching what it means to 'come out', and C) Is on your mormon path to marrying some poor woman who gets deprived of an actual passionate and loving relationship.

      It's appalling, and so are you.

      Delete
    4. No.. they have no reason to criticize him and certainly no right. Who made you the definer of what is gay? Obviously with your superior knowledge of all things gay.. you could point us mere humans to the true definition of what it is to be gay and the correct way to "come out". My goodness... you say that Jimmy can only give a passionate and loving relationship to another male? Who are you? Jimmy? You can't speak for him on what he can or can't feel. Talk about appalling!

      Delete
  56. Jimmy,

    I see quite a few people here crying out that you are suppressing yourself or for you to throw off the shackles of your religion. I have some very simple advice for you.

    Wolves do not concern themselves over the opinions of sheep.

    Jimmy, you are an amazingly strong person. It truly does suck the trial you have to go through but I applaud you for your attitude and courage. I hope you understand that you have many, many friends. Heavenly Father loves you and he won't let you drown in your trials.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Enjoy being alone the rest of your life though- cause celibacy was why god made you gay. Cause you know, he told people the formula to creation but only in certain spots of the world and to certain people.

      Delete
    2. Religion is generally thought of to be a choice. For most of us, sexual orientation is not. The issue is to determine which religious view is correct? One that will damn you to hell for civil marriage or one that will love and affirm you and your relationship. The choice is of course "yours". Some people enjoy self flagellation, to each his or her own.

      Delete
    3. Except when they propagate it on the innocent- then you have a duty to stand up and say something.

      Delete
  57. Listen. I'm not an "expert" or gay, or even have tons of experience on the "issue." I'm a stay at home mom who stumbled on your blog and was instantly inspired. I may not know all of the in and outs of your life, but I know honesty when I see it. I hope you continue in your bravery. I don't mean bravery in coming out in the LDS church, but the bravery to look anyone in the eye and proclaim what you know to be true. It is brave to tell people who are screaming at you that you cannot possibly be happy that you decide your own happiness.
    What an inspiration you are! I wish we were best friends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Says a woman subjugated to a religion that was founded on 'plural' marriage.

      #SHAMSHAM

      Delete
    2. Our religion was NOT founded on plural marriage. It was founded on the first principals and ordinances of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Everything else was just an addition to that.

      Delete
    3. No, it was founded by Joseph Smith who married TONS of young girls and was chased and shot dead for it.

      You can have opinions, but you can't rewrite facts you liar.

      Delete
    4. LOL TONS? Just how do you define the number of women.. by their weight? Solomon.. a favored King of God had 700 wives.. and 300 concubines. How many women is that in your counting language? I am not lying. It is you who twists the truths to match the outcomes you want.

      Delete
    5. and you can't see anything wrong with that, can you? has it ever occurred to you that women don't want to share one man with 1,000 other women? how lonely they must have been, sleeping alone night after night waiting for 'their turn?' not being able to choose to be with a man of their choice, but "given" to a king because "god wants him to be favored" with a harem?

      you're disgusting.

      Delete
  58. Jimmy, continue to be strong brother. The Holy Spirit will always provide you the way you should go and you will never ever be alone as long as you have him in your life. The discernment you show is a definately a gift from God. Another is your presithood that came from Jesus Christ himself. As you know all of this - you also know that he suffered greatly - bleeding from every pore. With so much pain even he, a God, called out to have his debt removed. But he followed the path that he chose in this Great Plan. We are commisioned to follow Him. That being taking up our own cross and suffering through parts of this human existance. I am like you - brother. This part of life is painful. At times it feels like my soul is being literally ripped apart. It is all worth it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because God made man, God told the great formula for salvation to only a fraction of man, and men 2,000 years ago can figure out human sexuality.

      Drink the coolaid, persecutor.

      Delete
    2. The Plan of Salvation can be known by all men, women and children. Today - right now. But the door only opens from the inside.

      Delete
    3. I am not, nor have I ever been, nor is the way I love broken, a defect, a disease, or a disability.

      You wouldn't know God if it bit you in your sorry judgmental butt.

      Delete
    4. The Holy Spirit has given me confirmation who God is and how he wants me to live my own life.

      Delete
    5. Not if its been altered by false prophets and hyper religious and ignorant communities that used to marry men to multiple woman.

      Delete
  59. I applaud you for what you are doing not because I believe it's the right thing to do, but because to you it's the right thing to do.

    I share a similar story although the difference is I'm not religious but my parents are traditional Asian parents and to me the benefits I gain from coming out to them do not outweigh the costs so I will marry a woman and possibly have kids. Of course my future wife will know of these arrangements and be okay with it before signing on.

    Morality is definitely the issue either in your case or mine but its a personal morality. Yours is with great influence of God which is fine, not good not bad at least not to me. As long as you believe it is the right thing to do then do it as long as it does not harm another.

    Bottom line is to not take any insult both from your religious community or the gay community. People can judge you on how your treat other people but they should not judge you on how you treat yourself as long as you do it with conviction and vigor. I wish you the best of luck on your journey, and chances are you might stray seeing as you have your whole life ahead of you but, at the end of the day, as long as you can look yourself in the mirror with no regret you've lived a life worth living. Best wishes.

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    Replies
    1. You are a coward.

      Delete
    2. "Signing on" to a fraudulent relationship can be problematic.... to say the least. Being honest about the fraud doesn't make it right either.

      Delete
    3. Right, like it doesn't still have train wreck all over it.

      Delete
  60. (continued from Feb 21, 2013 12:17 AM Post) This time on Earth is such a short space of time compared to the time you existed before and the time you will exist after. You, I and all of us are so close to the finish line man in this trial of faith. Keep going.You know that Heavenly Father loves you - I can feel that with such intensity. And what an example you show for the love and compassion you have for others. You are in the process of making your "calling and election sure" what a glorious state. As we know by design there is opposition in all things - so in this process - be kind and loving to yourself.

    Your Brother in Jesus Christ,

    Rob

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's setting himself up for a desolate lonely life, but according to you people if he's real lucky he'll be able to trick some poor woman into thinking she's in a real relationship/marriage.

      Congratulations Rob, you are a pristine example of someone who destroys lives.

      Delete
    2. The life of the natural man is already dead. Only that which is eternal exists forever. In what state of eternal existance, that is up to each individual.

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    3. Life is precious, we shouldn't waste it on myths and religious cults.

      Delete
    4. It is a God given right to choose the way one wants to believe - that is the ultimate precious gift.

      Delete
    5. It's not a choice when you never had the freedom to choose.

      Delete
  61. What a wise man once said:
    "What happens when he realizes that the church does not actually "have the truth" and is nothing more than a regular church just like other churches?.................well what happens is he gets his life back and does not have to live under what must be an almost debilitating amount of cog-dis?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would much rather stand before my maker and tell him I tried to live the the best moral lifestyle I could. That I did listened to him by emulating his Son that he sent here on this Earth. That did what I could to follow him.

      I would not want to stand before God and tell him that I followed all those people who said that religion was a farce, and that I should eat, drink and be merry... for tomorrow I shall die.

      No.. I would much rather loose my life in defense of God and his laws than to save my life by conforming to this new moral majority and becoming politically correct.

      Delete
    2. All for something you can never, ever prove.

      All for a man who founded a religion several hundred years ago in Utah, founded on 'plural marriage' that your church still says is doctrine(That you don't practice now but in the afterlife).

      Excuse me, but your disgusting and your religion is false, made by a man s an excuse to sleep around.

      Delete
    3. It has been proved... to me. It is you who doesn't have the proof. It is fine that you find me disgusting for my beliefs.. for I will gladly wear that badge of honor. But my religion is not false. It holds the truth to eternal life.. the greatest gift that God could give to man.

      Delete
    4. And it's completely illogial- God of the Universe, on Kolob, comes here to deliver a message, but not to everyone at once, just to one person, and he basically gets it wrong(with the polygamy, since you had to stop doing it obviously God's word and doctrine wasn't enough to wear as a badge).

      And you bank your whole existence on that. I admit, it's somewhat endearing in a way. It's also sad. It's very sad.

      And it will destroy this kids life if he lets it, just like it's made a mess out of Ty and Joshua's. God have mercy if people like you get your way and force this boy onto some unsuspecting girl.

      Delete
  62. While I appreciate the message he is trying to give I think he is very wrong in trying to promote the celibacy for life thing. God did not put us here on earth to be unhappy. For many of our brothers and sisters living a celibate life would make them unhappy. While he might have accepted celibacy for his life I feel like he was trying to make other people believe that that is their only way to salvation, and that is very wrong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who knows, perhaps he may be preparing himself for the Catholic priesthood or life in a monastery.

      Delete
  63. There is nothing inherently sinful about a same-sex relationship at all and I hope that you and others like you can come to understand that.

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  64. This poor guy. Accepting you as long as you're celebate is not accepting you. The depression that awaits him saddens me, that is if he doesn't wake up.

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  65. I am probably not your typical responder and have to admit I am, for the first time, openly admitting what I will on this blog. But I feel it is important. I am a 50 year old married LDS woman who has dealt with SSA issues during my life. As a teenager and young adult, we passed it off as just "teen nonsense." As an older adult, I found myself being attracted to my closest female friend. (I found out later she has also dealt with similar feelings.) At times, the anguish I would feel over such feelings was so distracting and devasting I wondered how I would survive it. It only made my resolve stronger and my need for the Lord in my life more critical. I know that my choice will anger many and others will say I must be denying true myself, but the one thing I know with ABSOLUTE cerainty is the life I am choosing to live is the right one. I love my husband and I am truly grateful for the peace which has been brought in my life by trying to live what I believe to be true. My choice is not a "one size its all" choice. It was the right choice for me. Stay close to the Lord and I KNOW you will be guided to ways that will help you find the strength and peace to live in this world as you are. Don't let others decide for you what is right and wrong. The right to have that agency was fought long before we came here and only you will know and feel what's best for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What about another religions Lord and God that loves and Celebrates gay relationships? Do you not agree that that's equally valid as well?

      Delete
  66. Best of luck on your journey. I like to say enjoy the journey and do it with pride. I see I lot of love and support here in these comments, and a lot of misery seeking company. One thing is for certain, we are free to choose. Continue choosing the right attitude and God will bless. God seems to surprise, from Mtn Dew to polyghamy, He's always pushing the boundaries. I choose happiness.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Why not become a polygamous gay Mormon? Then you will see who truly loves you. Which community do you think will continue to love you and embrace you? I suppose each community has a representation of both good and bad. I'm a raging hormone married to an awesome owife that doesn't have nearly the same sex drive. We make compromise and serve each other......but sometimes it can feel like hell on earth. I'd love to rid myself of my sex drive and avoid all the frustration but I know that that's what makes me who I am. Am I advocating polygamy? No way! Being married to one woman is enough to drive you insane, I would never wish multiple wives on anyone. We all have our battles. Keep fighting the fight and choose the right. You have the spirit in you,be true to that and nothing more.

    ReplyDelete
  68. I came across your blog on TheBlaze. I hate reading comments and I don't know why I do it, they make angry. Jimmy-if you want to live your life this way then do it. Don't listen to some of these REPEATED commenters because they clearly feel threatened by your choice to live what you believe. They think they are so tolerant and want you to be able to live a gay lifestyle but when gay people come out and say they choose to live the Gospel principles, these REPEATED commenters jump all over them!
    Lately, there has been several same-sex attraction article released from the church. It's becoming more and more prevelant and more gay people are feeling more confident coming out because more people are aware that it's not a lifestyle people choose-you're born with it. (This is something I FINALLY realized myself while following Joshua Weed's journey.)
    You are an awesome person and it's obvious you know what you want and the way you want to live-that's great. We all have our own trials in this lifetime and yours is being a gay mormon. I wish you the best of luck and never loose sight of your path and remember your covenants. If you haven't already, go read Joshua Weed's coming out post and his journey of how he's handled being a gay mormon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joshua Weed, in a sham marriage prompted by his religion, not by love or passion, with a woman whose been deprived of an actual committed loving relationship, because freakazoids like you think she should settle for less(Because your views on woman SUCK). Joshue Weed is not gay- he's a freak emulating a straight man's life, and he will never a straight man, no will his ever marriage ever be like theirs.

      You know it, I know it, we all know it. STOP spreading your poison.

      Delete
    2. Joshua and Ty were sent as angels from the Lord to teach others about righteous living and the Proper choices that need to be made.

      Delete
  69. I'm a guy and I just love your video, and I so admire the freedom and joy that I saw in your video today. It is refreshing and made me so happy (not out) that you could have the freedom in your life to express yourself as nice and joyfully as you did. I wish you so much joy and happiness, along with a life of greatness - don't ever stop being who you are and were in that "coming out" video. It was awesome, just fantastic.
    B

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  70. Stay strong jimmy, in the blink of an eye you'll be home with your father in heaven. Live the commandments and stay true to the teachings of the gospel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But whose God? what about another religions God wouldn't he be just as good of a person then too? Why does it always have to be the Mormon God? What's wrong with a God that loves and accepts homosexual relationships in other religions ? Do you have special access to a truth that other religions are not privy?



      Delete
  71. thanks for such a positive message about your faith. I can't imagine the difficulties you struggle with, and I admire your positive attitude in not going the way that everyone would "expect". Best wishes

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  72. Well done dude. Best of luck to you.
    Btw, I have HUGE crush on your mom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank Justen, for contributing to his destruction.

      Delete
    2. Dude, this isn't a thread of hatred. Nothing you can say is going to change him. In fact you're probably driving him further into his position because your anger is repulsive, especially to Mormons.
      He'll probably eventually grow out of it (I'm not talking about his sexual orientation). I did and I'm not even gay. It will just take time.

      Delete
    3. I suppose I know that- but when you see someone on a path to destroying themselves you feel like you should do something, say something. Especially when you know what his parents, bishop, church members, 'friends', and even the other posters on here want him to do- to end up like Ty and Joshue, tied down in a sham marriage with someone deprived of a real and honest relationship(Cause their views on women SUCK), and then to add to it they'll want him to have kids- so he'll really be stuck, unhappy, miserable, and he can pass the crazy on to them.

      Gah.

      Delete
    4. I am a 71 year old retired construction contractor. Vietnam vet, worked on the docks and the lumber mills. I have seen and heard a lot of words flow from a lot of mouths. Now I read this agonizing posting by one with a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Then I read the comments that follow. Many are kind and supportive, but some are angry and hateful.

      As for the methods and means of the Lord God, "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."

      As for the worldly ways of the temporary king of this earth, his face can be clearly seen through the darkness of his verbage.

      Thus it has always been, but So it shall not ever be. The King of all has promised to return with healing in his wings. He will mend the broken heart and lift up the contrite spirit. And He will banish those who speak evil in His name.

      "The parameters of our faith are defined by the mountains that we move."
      Ole Man Mose

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  73. Jimmy Lee Hales has taken something that should of been personal and turned it into something that will be used as a weapon against the rest of us.

    His choice of celibacy is his to make, but publicizing it is not right.

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    Replies
    1. People are entitled to make public irrational or fraudulent choices. The rest of us need to believe that in the end truth will prevail, as hard as it is.

      Delete
  74. I love your video, your insights and your obvious valiant devotion to the restored church. I hope you do not let all the naysayers deter you from the straight and narrow path you have wisely chosen. I am not gay, but I would love to have a fulfilling marriage and relationship that is intimate and loving - everyone does. I chose a harder path myself and can relate to your logic and choices. I married a man who does not understand how to participate in a close relationship and has never healed from an abusive childhood, so after much counseling and trying to work things out, I decided my only choice was to get a divorce. I could not see myself going through life never being loved. The day I was going to see an attorney, I heard a voice in my mind quietly but firmly say, "Don't do it." I knew where it had come from and it was not from me. Then I heard it again...so I trusted that message and the feeling that came with it and stayed in my marriage. I am very thankful I did. Our intimate relations did not change, but we are friends and our boys got to grow up with a father they loved and, just as importantly, my husband did not have to live alone or have to leave his family and home. I knew that I would have lonely times, but God sent good friends my way who love me and keep the loneliness at bay. I can endure this. God has helped make these burdens light. There are still many joys in my life and I honestly feel that any sacrifices I make here will be made up to me in the next life. I love that you have the big picture in your mind. I can assure you that along the way, the Lord will bless you with associations, interests, callings, family and friends that will enable you to have a rich, loving and meaningful life. I am very proud of you. Keep up the good work.

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    Replies
    1. I'm sorry, but that sounds so sanctimonious to me..

      Delete
  75. As Mormons and Mormonism engage in their habit of historical revisionism and you pat them, and yourself and, eventually, the Quorum on the back for being so "open", take a moment and reflect on the lives of those, Mormon and otherwise, who have suffered so much because of the positions and political activity of your church. Then you can forget about them like you do everyone else your faith has harmed.

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  76. One should really study Cult thinking and compliance methods. Never allowed to question the leadership. The dogma is never wrong. That's one reason there are so many Mormon gay suicides. When Mormons are confronted with obvious evidence To the contrary, Cognitive dissonance kicks in. Human sexuality is not Biniary, never has been and never will be.

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